Mission Statement

I try my best to avoid seeing good movie in the theatres. Usually their scale is not grand enough to merit a trip to the cineplex, beyond which there’s always a requisite post-screening conversation with your former film student buddies or friends who just like to pontificate on what the movie means. Good movies are far too demanding a way to spend a weeknight.

If I’m to be dropping serious ducats to sit in a comfy chair for a couple hours, I want it to be as enjoyable as possible. I want to see things explode and titties and Nicolas Cage going apeshit on a bunch of people. Because those things never fail and leave a grin on your face for the rest of the week.

I love 2½ star films. They’re unambitious, unpretentious; they don’t make lofty promises and then fail to deliver. When they’re good at what they do, when they hit the nail on the head, they’re just pleasantly surprising and thoroughly enjoyable. Sort of like South Korea or Trinidad & Tobago at the FIFA World Cup.

The problem, of course, with 2½ star films, is that you often need a little push in the right direction to appreciate their merit. So I drink. Formerly in the company of my hoss James, we would buy tickets on Big Ticket Tuesday (it’s a 5-dolla holla at Montreal’s Paramount Cinemas), shotgun a couple Pabst Blue Ribbons in a nearby alleyway, and drink our way steadily through whatever The Rock or Jason Statham movie had most recently graced the silver screen.

Forget about IMAX 3D. The jokes are funnier, the punches fall harder and crunch more satisfyingly, and the car crashes are miles more entertaining when you’re drunk. And as a bonus you can shamelessly hit on girls sitting around you and it won’t be a social transgression because you’re basically at a bar. It’s win/win people. It’s the only way to watch movies.

In an effort to share my love of movie tanking and impress its power and effectiveness upon others I have created The Boozy Movie Chronicles, a journal of weekly movie nights with my friend Martyn. I will be rating my experience of each film on a Damage scale (how wrecked I feel during the screening) and a Boozy rating scale (the heights to which the movie is elevated by a solid state of inebriation).

Please enjoy it and try it with your friends. Thank you very much for visiting my blogger.