Skyfall review and my hopefuls for the next James Bond

Directed by Sam Mendes

Starring Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Javier Bardem, Ralph Fiennes, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris, Bérénice Lim Marlohe, and Albert Finney

Part I: The Review

It’s 2012; colour me disappointed. All the big movies this year, the ones I’ve championed for months prior to release – to the point of telling friends “this is the only movie” – have let me down. The Dark Knight did not rise to the occasion, Looper was sluggish and ineffective, Taken 2 paled in comparison to the original, and Prometheus lit a mighty dull fire.

And now the new Bond film, Skyfall, is a bit too “whatever” for my liking – especially when you consider the unanimous critical praise it has received. Sweet Jesus is this movie mediocre. Towards the end of its Titanic-esque runtime it had me longing for the days of Pierce Brosnan’s para-ski-doos and CGI’ed windsurfing antics.

Following a yawn-inducing opening chase, less involving and mysterious than the one in The World is Not Enough, Bond is shot and presumed dead while on mission in Istanbul. He goes underground. His target escapes with a list of secret identities belonging to all MI6 agents serving undercover in terrorist organisations. Ominous techno-terrorist Raoul Silva is behind its theft and later commits shocking attacks on British soil that summon Bond back from self-exile and into active duty.

Critics and audiences went on bloody murder about Quantum of Solace, which for my money is a better Bond movie than this. The action set-pieces were more kinetic, invigorating, and energetically edited. The Bond girls in Quantum felt like real people, not ciphers used to expedite the plot before being discarded or lost in the scenery. Most importantly, it felt like Bond was grappling with forces much bigger than himself and still only seeing the tip of the iceberg (the enormity of shadowy organisation “Quantum” is only alluded to). Plus Bond is so much more of a devil-may-care badass in that one, dropping henchmen off roofs and stranding key hostages in the middle of the desert as if giving a fuck just wasn’t on the menu.

Oh, and because Olga Kurylenko is a goddess.

Skyfall is lacklustre on almost every proto-Bond movie front. It doesn’t have the globetrotting allure of previous instalments. For all the praise Javier Bardem gets on his performance of baddie Silva (which, I must admit, is pretty strong), his screen time is limited and his dastardly plot is not very dastardly at all, nor is it executed with the grandiose villainy that you’d expect of a legendary Bond nemesis. Silva is merely okay.

Skyfall is also perplexingly being touted as the least sexist Bond entry to date, when really it is anything but. For fear of spoiling the movie, I’ll say but this: every female in the film, true to 007 standards, is either less competent than Bond at Bond-like activities or requires Bond to save her. In other words, business as usual. The only difference is none of them wears a bikini this time. Yay feminism.

To the film’s credit, Roger Deakins’ photography is sublime (although such praise is akin to dining at a five-star restaurant and saying “Wow! The food is really good here!”) and Adele’s “Skyfall”  is the best Bond title song since the Shirley Bassey days. Pretty much everything else fizzles. Sub-plots are abruptly dropped, the movie is lined with characters that don’t matter, the action sequences are not involving or suspenseful, and the villain is not nearly as scary as he’s intended to be. On the whole, Sam Mendes’ directorial style is far too detached and the entire production crew, much like Craig’s grizzled hero, seems to have forgotten how much fun James Bond is supposed to be.

Part II: The Future of Bond

Skyfall also marks the addition of recurring characters Moneypenny (Naomie Harris), Garreth Mallory (Ralph Fiennes – who is in top form, as always) and the re-introduction of the Q character (who, thank fuck, is expertly played Ben Whishaw rather than the oafish, risible John Cleese). Make no mistake, MGM is laying long-term groundwork for this franchise, and with good reason: it makes a shit-ton of money. Daniel Craig has overcome a lot of backlash and delivered a superb Bond over three films, but all good things must come to an end. I reckon he still has two picture left in him, as he’s in much better shape than any of his predecessors were at his age… except maybe Roger Moore.

Who knew?? Right?

So let’s assume Dan exits stage left by 2016-2017; the Bond mantle will fall to another. Who’ll it be?

Everybody’s got their predictions, some better than others. It’s a shame that a lot of strong contenders are from Craig’s generation, and will thus be well over the hill by the time they recast the role. (I’m thinking of Dougray Scott, Gerry Butler, and Eric Bana, primarily).

My prediction is that they’ll find another Dalton, a more mature actor who’ll crank out 2-3 pictures before calling it quits. With that in mind, my list covers a broad age range, leading with the youngest at the probable start of filming (I posit 2017). I’ve kept criteria from MGM’s previous selections in mind, meaning likely candidates are from the UK and Oceania (I doubt they would select a North American) and not huge, global film/franchise stars (as a clever friend recently pointed out to me, this gives the studio more leverage with their salary and contract).

Oliver Jackson-Cohen

Age (2017): 31

Nationality: English

Best known for: Killer in Faster

Pros: Tall, dark, handsome, and unafraid of physically demanding roles, Jackson-Cohen would be a strong choice. With popular support he could ably out-do Roger Moore’s 12-year stint as Bond, and he has the acting chops to lend the character the same gravitas as Craig did.

Cons: My only concern is that he is too young and too handsome (seriously, this cat is fucking gorgeous, people) for audiences to accept him as the lean, mean soldier that Craig has created. 

Chiwetel Ejiofor

Age (2017): 40

Nationality: English

Best known for: “Hey, it’s that guy from Love, Actually!”

Pros: He’d be my top contender were it not for the main con (below). He’s the appropriate age, a handsome, charismatic, chameleonic actor, far enough below the radar, and has proven, demonstrable ass-kicking ability from Serenity and Redbelt.

Con: He’s black and the world may not be ready for a black blockbuster star who isn’t Will Smith. And, seriously, fuck the world for being that way because Chiwetel would be a fucking God among insects if it were otherwise.

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers

Age (2017): 40

Nationality: Irish

Best known for: Being The King -- TV’s The Tudors and playing Elvis (like a boss)

Pros: Back in the mid-2000s, rumours circulated that a young gun named Jon Rhys-Meyers would follow in Brosnan’s footsteps. Rhys-Meyers dismissed his chances of playing Bond, at the time saying he was too young but, given the chance, he’d be thrilled to.

Well, 13 years later he may get that chance. I realise that the fresh-faced, slender Irishman would be a dark horse in this category, but he has the looks, the wit, and the resume to hold down the saga for at least a few pictures.

Cons: He doesn’t have the rugged, square-jawed masculinity or the sultry baritone that we’ve come to associate with Bond. 

Andrew Lincoln

Age (2017): 44

Nationality: English

Best known for: “Hey, it’s that other guy from Love, Actually!”

Pros: Yep, he and Chiwetel fought for Keira Knightley in Love, Actually and now they’re fighting over the coveted 007 title in Boozy Movie Chronicles. Whooda thunk it?

Lincoln is suave and, not unlike Craig, has a fierce intelligence behind those pale blue eyes. Currently a small-town sheriff/expert zombie killer on AMC’s phenomenal The Walking Dead, Lincoln’s TV contract will likely be up around the time Bond is recast.

Cons: Granted, the rather slight, 5’10” Brit would have to bulk up for the role, but crazier things have happened. (Anyone remember Adrian Brody in Predators? Holy fucknuggets.)

His hairline also can’t recede much farther if he has any hopes of landing Bond and his increasingly high-profile TV performance as a Southern lawman might put him out of the running.

Karl Urban

Age (2017): 45

Nationality: Kiwi

Best known as: Star Trek's Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Sure, he’ll be 45 but he’s the motherfuckin Law. Try thinking of a movie where Karl Urban doesn’t rule shit. Oh, wait, that’s right: there is none. This cat comes within inches of pwning Jason Bourne TWICE, which places him on a short list of 21st century King Badasses in my books.

Cons: We’ve only seen a non-UK Bond once and only for one picture. Again, the world may still not be ready. Also, as a sex symbol he is really an acquired taste (but then again so was Daniel Craig).

His Star Trek appearances don't seem to be getting him typecast, but in the next few years he may become too well-known and bankable a star for the Bond role.

Guy Pearce

Age (2017): 50

Nationality: English/Australian

Best known for: Being the pre-eminent character actor of his generation

Pros: Pearce looks remarkably good for his age and, as this year’s Lockout showed us, he is still in phenomenal shape. His versatility as an actor would also mean that he could take the role in any direction and do so convincingly.

Cons: Starting at age 50 he would likely only do 2 movies and, more importantly, he probably has zero interest in the role.




Got thoughts on who the next Bond could be? Leave them below.